Panic!

I am sure that the hormones are getting to me, but lately I have experienced moments of extreme panic. This is an insane rant, so read at your own risk.

I had a dream last night that I lost the baby. Luckily, if that were to happen, it probably would have happened 12 weeks or before and we have heard a healthy heartbeat, so that is not incredibly likely. It just pains me inside that my subconscious would come up with that. Insane dreams are, from what I have read, very common among pregnant women. Luckily, lately, I have been feeling better (as in, not so sick- hope I am not speaking too soon), which is wonderful. I do not wish to be sick. However, when there are no symptoms, I feel very surreal and question- is everything okay? Is something wrong? How twisted is that? Deep inside, I know I should trust and let go. This is all just so weird. I also panicked the other day when I realized that I have never been around little boys, so if I am having one, I feel a little clueless and inept (understatement). PS- Everyone in Michael's family thinks this is a boy and they are not shy about it. Not that I wouldn't catch on, just- holy crap! What would I do with a boy? I am so girly and not at all athletic...pardon my stereotypes. Then I wonder why I am worried about this because I won't know until 11/3 anyway and whatever it is- it already is. Then, I move onto to my money panic. Another holy crap moment! It is already difficult to budget for the two of us. How will we do three and please say we can handle it well- because, as an only child, I'd planned to have more than one. I find myself going through my house wondering- what of value could I sell in hopes of securing a little extra funding. Not completely a bad thing (BTW- garage sale tomorrow.)

I really feel like I could go on and on about the preceeding things and about how my house is never clean and I can't get it that way or keep it that way to save my life- and that is just with the 2 of us! I worry that our insurance is not good enough, that I will have to spend too much time working and miss out on things, and that I have no idea who is going to watch my baby when I do have to go back to work.

The truth is, I am in one of those states of taking on too much when it desparately needs to be handed over to God and removed from this rant of worries that I have created. I have to stop worrying. Period. Meanwhile, it helps to put it all down in print. Now God, take it away!

Sixteen weeks

I am just shy of sixteen week now. There is a little belly, that I would chalk up to being a chubby girl, except that I have actually lost weight. We find out the gender of Baby Ross on 11/3. My boss was visiting with me the other day and said, "why? Don't you want it (the gender) to be a surprise?" I replied, "I am tired of calling this kid 'it' or 'baby'". It will be exciting to pick some things out and call the baby by a name. It will still be a surprise anyway! It will just be one on 11/3, instead of in April!

ps- I am actually nervous to find out the gender, though I know God gives you what you need- even if you don't know it yet : )

Our little sweetHEART!

Our doctor's appointment went well today. I feel pretty big, but have lost 5 pounds so far. The baby has a heart rate of about 148 beat per minute. I am going to try to post the video- hopefully, it will work. Michael was kind enough to film and edit, which I more than appreciate!

Much love,
Lindsay

Strollers and car seats and appointments, oh my!

My apologies for being slow to post. The following info is from last weekend.

Last Saturday, Michael got a wild hair and wanted to go to the store to look at stroller / car seat combos. I had already spent more time than I care to admit studying ratings and parent rating, so it was already narrowed to Chicco and Britax. A car seat is just not a place where I felt comfortable settling for anything less than the safest and best. After spending time with both, Michael decided he liked the Chicco better. I also liked it, so that was our purchase and then we were on our way.

After our adventure to buy the stroller / car seat combo, Michael informed me that he needed an "instruction manual for this thing- so he'll know what to do". We journeyed on to Border's where he found a book of basics for Dads and a book- not kidding- labeled as an instruction manual. It goes to to tell expectant Dads what a baby comes "pre-programmed" with and has stick people illustrations demonstrating the correct and incorrect way to do certain things (he learned to avoid picking a baby up directly by it's head).

By the way, if you'd like to watch Michael play with the stroller / car seat combo, c'mon over, I am certain that he would be glad to demo. After a bit, he almost seemed like a kid with a giant toy...

Buying the combo was fine, but I really want to figure out how we can put up a fence of sorts- I really don't want us out walking the dog in the morning with a baby needing our attention. For some funding- not nearly enough, but a start- I think we are going to do the neighborhood garage sale (I have been in a real purge and anti-junk sort of mood) and put a few things up on ebay. Out with the old- in with enough room for the baby : )

The following is a post from Michael:

We bought a stroller/carrier system last week. Check this business out:

The car seat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gK4c7CYMBoE

The stroller:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=291tlp_90Ww

What the stroller video doesn't show is that the car seat mounts on the stroller, combining their powers like some kickass baby Voltron or something. I don't know where we can mount a boomin' system, but I'll keep you posted.

If you were wondering about the baby literature we acquired:




It is written like instructions for your stereo or something! No joke! It talks about what a baby comes "pre-programmed with", what will cause "malfunction", and diapers are described as needing "installation". It is quite humorous. I am reading it too and can say- it is helpful.

Things to look forward to this week:
* continued reduction in nausea
* hearing baby's heartbeat on Thursday the 9th!
* finding out when our gender / ultrasound appointment will be! I should find out on Thursday!

Much Love,
Lindsay