Oh, Motherhood

I admit, though I like my job and I am grateful to have a job, I feel a deep sense of pain when I think about only having one more week at home with my sweet baby girl. I feel like, now that many of the challenges of having a newborn have eased, I have to return to work in the height of things becoming incredibly fun. I love my girl's smiles and coos. The idea of spending so much time away from her is tearing my heart in two.

This poem is pretty widely circulated, but definitely explains the emotions surrounding motherhood.

Before I was a Mom…
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom…
I slept as late as I wanted.
I brushed my hair and my teeth every day.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was Mom…
I had never been puked on, pooped on, spat on, chewed on, peed on,
or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom…
I had complete control of my mind, thoughts, my body,and my time.

Before I was a Mom…
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never risen in the middle of the night,
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never known the warmth,
the joy, the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment,
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom!