Thirty Weeks
Here is a picture of me faking it. I actually have a bit of a cold and I am trying to avoid too much medicine. I think the smile is pretty convincing though!
Yes, there are 2.5 months left; no, I have no idea how she will fit, but she will! Usually, all things considered, I feel pretty good. My last doctor report was just about perfect: I do not have gestational diabetes, my blood pressure is low to normal, I am not anemic (which I have had a history of in the past), I have gained very little weight, but she is growing right on target, her heart rate is normal, and my dentist said that I do not have swollen gums (which is common for pregnant women).
I have been spending my time organizing things and setting up schedules of chores and such in a way that I hope will be baby friendly. I don't want household tasks like laundry to become overwhelming when she is here- my goal is little by little. I am also working on the painting I will create for her room. In the past, I have painted pictures for friends' nurseries, so I, of course, want to make sure I do something for my own. This has been no easy feat! However, I think I finally have the right design sketched out and I am ready (as soon as I kick this sinus headache) to give it a try! Here are a few pictures I did for Amie's nursery. They hold a special place in my heart because they were my first and because she loved them so much, she asked for more!
Claire's nursery is going to be black and off white (per the pics of the bedding below) and I decided to use plum and lilac accents. I have been very drawn to purple lately.
Otherwise, I admit to more than a fair amount of momma-to-be anxiety. I feel like it is probably a fear of the unknown that will mellow after she is born and we start to adjust to the many changes that will take place. I very much understand the wanting the best for your child instinct and fear, on occasion, letting her down- though I will do my best and know that I have plenty to offer over all.
Here are some things I use input or encouragement on (please leave me comments- all you have to do is click the comments at the bottom and type away! I can't tell you how much it means to me to read all the things my loved ones write!):
1) I am blessed with 5 months maternity leave because my leave will run straight into summer vacation. I am aware that this is a blessing, but think to myself- 5 months is SO young! I can't believe I have to turn over my baby at 5 months. She will not be old enough to understand or know what is going on. She will not be old enough to play, learn or bond, so I can't justify it as she is "getting something out of it". Yes, I have done the math and the investigation on staying home for a year and, sadly, no, is not possible for me. Luckily, I have a good job that I am grateful for and, next to staying home, it will allow me the most time with my sweet girl. Where I need help is- I need child care advice. I am looking into sitters and private day care centers. I have heard debates either way. Please let me know what you think and if you live close to me and know of any opportunities in my area, I'd love to hear about them!
2) Obvious concern of all mothers (and the country as a whole right now) is saving money. If you have any tips about how to save money, what expenses you have found unnecessary, and ways that you manage, please pass them on! I have decided to take cues from friends and begin clipping coupons. I want to reduce my grocery and toiletry bills by up to 1/3! (must have a goal!) Wish me luck! Anyway, I want your tips for money savings and cutting the unnecessary! Please share!
3) Right now, everything still seems so surreal to me. I think I am going to write Claire letters or something. I want to try bonding with her without feeling silly. I do talk to her. Sometimes, I poke her back (gently) when she kicks me and she lightly responds. If anyone has any ideas as to how to bond with a bump, I am also game.
Mostly, I feel that comfort and answered prayers are found by those who calm down long enough to talk to God and are patient enough for a reply. This is a constant challenge for me. Admittedly, I am prone to worry and have difficulty letting go when I need to. I think I am going to start journaling my prayers again. I tend to focus better when I write it down, than when I rely on a stream of subconscious thought.
Thank you to all of my supportive friends and family that read this and all of the prayers. Things are going to be just fine. I am just super hormonal / emotional. I cried for no reason during my last doctor appointment. My doctor must have felt bad for me because he hugged me before I left! I have a really good OB.
Love,
Linds
posted by Lindsay @ 1:57 PM
5 Comments:
Some ideas.....my .02, nothing else.
Bump Bonding:
This is a wonderful thing to do and is easy to accomplish. Head over to Babies R Us or whatever you have and look for a Bebe' Sounds set that has the microphone. You strap the headphones to your belly and talk into the microphone!! I used to sing to Dori when she was in utero. She'd get restless when I was trying to sleep and I'd strap those on and sing "Bushel and a Peck" to her. She would quickly calm down. To this day, when she is upset, I sing "Peck Song" (her words) and it calms her down right away!
Saving money:
Good luck with that one!! Clipping coupons helps. We belong to Costco and they carried her formula there, so we saved quite a bit on it buying from a warehouse. Same with wipes and diapers. Obviously, breast feeding saves a TON of money, and I did the first 6 months. But then went into the hospital and couldn't. Also, cloth diapers save a bunch of money, as long as you don't mind doing laundry every other day.
Going back to work:
This is a tough one. I never pictured myself a SAHM. But the day Dori was born, I knew I couldn't turn her over to anyone. So, we tightened the belt as much as we could. Fewer dinners out, fewer trips to see family, movie rentals once or twice a month, not once or twice a week.
I know you don't think Claire will be old enough to bond, but you'd be surprised. Babies know their mothers by smell.....she'll know whoever is caring for her isn't you.
Part-time work is an option....tutoring, retail, etc. Do something in the evening when hubby is home.
I'm not saying going back to work is wrong, but if the money coming in is still less than what's going out, you can make it work. :)
I was an absolute mess when I was pregnant with Ben. I worked too hard, worried too much, got irritable way too easily, and in turn I wasn't able to just ENJOY being pregnant. You will look back on this experience like it was a blur. I say don't worry about bonding with your bump any other way than just what comes naturally. Saving money will be an ongoing challenge in this economy. I've looked for things I bought for Ben when he was a baby only to be repulsed at the price, when two years ago it seemed okay. You'll slide right into frugal living after she comes. If you haven't already, sign up at every baby website you can. The junk mail is obnoxious but they send coupons all the time. Now the work thing...I will NEVER send Ben to daycare. Herman and I changed jobs/schedules/etc. to make sure of it. As a result we don't spend any time together during the week, but we have our weekends. I am lucky to have a career that is very flexible with good pay. We also have the ability to send Ben to my mom if our schedules should collide, but we don't really do that much. I work in the mornings and when I get home Herman leaves for work. It works well for us. I say you have 5 months to work that out after she comes, so just try to relax and savor every minute of being pregnant. Make sure you and Mike get as much time together before she comes, rather than staying worried and tense and preoccupied. Get a massage sister! There are so many things that can be worried about and you will have the next 18 years plus to worry. Take it one day at a time. BELIEVE, not hope, that everything will work out. Use your faith! God would not put you through anything that you could not handle. Lean on him for comfort, solace, and wisdom.
If you can find a home babysitter I think that is best for the first coule of years. The EOC Tech Center has an amazing pre-school program. They are a 3 star facility and everything they do is based on early childhood research. Anyway, you need to get on the waiting list immediatley if you are interested in taking Claire there when she turns 2. There is a long waiting list.
Good luck!
Jimmi
first of all...take a deep breath! enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. it will NEVER be the same once she gets here. i was so anxious for bentlie to get here...once she was here i was bummed because i wanted her back inside me so i could enjoy it.
one way i save money is..i buy almost all of bentlie's clothes at consignment sales. they have them in the spring and the fall for different seasons and you can find much of what you need. or consignment shops and garage sales..if you need names of stores let me know. oh...and don't buy a bunch of toys...they would rather play with you ( or the remote or cell phone)
when it comes to bonding...do whatever makes you feel like you are close.
daycare...i have not been in this situation...although i did have an inhome day care for a while...just know that no one will do things exactly like you want but when you find the right person you will know and be at peace with it.
also know that from here on out you will live in fear. fear that something will happen to your baby. just remember that God is in control. fear is a good thing as a mother...you go through in your head every possible thing that could go wrong...therefore you can some what be prepared and know how to handle it. don't panic...it usually isn't as bad as it seems. and know you always have friends (or sisters) to go to for advice. call me anytime!
hope this helped.
daycare: well, at 5 months she WILL be old enough to learn and bond, so she will get something out of daycare. what i understand now that my children are in full-time daycare, is that our children benefit highly from being around other children and learning to obey other adults. it helps them to be versatile and resilient. she will get stimulation throughout the day, whereas being a stay-at-home mom, you can find it difficult to provide activities and interaction because you're so busy taking care of household things and yourself! i personally have loved the kindercare center my kids are at. i like the idea that it's NOT private and it is a franchise. i feel like there is more accountability, and once my kids adjusted to the new lifestyle, they LOVE IT. you just have to get a feel for the people she will be with and what you're most comfortable with. visit the place at different times of the day: morning drop off time, lunch time, playtime outside, nap time. try to meet different staff members. this could very well end up being a place that claire will be in the coming years when she's older. and that would be ideal so, even though she won't be involved in anything but bottles, rocking, sleeping, pooping in the beginning, check out all the other things!
saving money:
1. BREASTMILK NOT FORMULA. if you're up for it, pump pump pump. formula is so expensive, and while breastfeeding/pumping takes a lot of forethought and energy, it's the absolute best for your baby and will save you so much SO MUCH money!! don't feel bad if you do choose formula, but this is ONE thing you can do that will make a huge difference for YOU and clairey.
2. www.cottonbabies.com, www.thanksmama.com. do some research on cloth diapers. i promise you it's not as hard as you think. if you're going to get 5 months of maternity leave, you can commit to 5 months of cloth diapers. then use disposables when you go back to work. bumgenius and kushies all in ones are awesome, but prefolds aren't too hard either. read up on it!!
3. make your own baby food. it truly truly is so easy, will taste better to her, it's fun, and is cheaper! start with the book "Top 100 Baby Purees" that one's my fave.
bonding: love, anything you do right now with your sweet angel in mind is bonding! get your ipod, plug in your phones and lie down and just relax, practice your breathing and relaxing for labor. keep your hands on your belly and hold claire. hum along with the music and think of her. your body responds to music you love and she knows it. she already knows your voice and LOVES it. she knows your smell. the more you're in tune with your body right now, the more you're in tune with claire!
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